HERE WE ARE NOW, ENTERTAIN US!
07th April 2008 ;; 22:25
So, I've figured it all out. My life! I've applied for this school downtown, to the Graphic Design studies. It's an "creative college" and I think it will be mighty fun as well as good. And I'm moving out! Some of you might remember how I complained about my parents? Yeah, I won't have to do that anymore, 'cause I'm not gonna have to live with them. I'm gonna find a cheap, awesome apartment where I can live freely, if not starved and in old clothes. But I will live thought it! And it will be awesome!
It's in August, though. That the school starts. And I guess I won't move out immediately, 'cause I'm going to Hersonissos in the end of July, and I won't be home until the 15th. I'm going with all my friends, and lots of my classmates and other acquaintances, so I'm super stoked about that. It's on Crete, if you didn't know.
My life is good right now. It's more than good, it's awesome! I've finished all my school projects, so I only have to care about my exams, which will be tremendous. I'm gonna be Russ soon (24 days left!) and I've met a person that I spend a lot of time with, who I like. It's also moving into spring, which means warm weather and less clothes, and how awesome isn't that?
Good times, good times.
Ida mentioned that I seem so much more gown up here now, than in my blogs last year. First I thought like 'it's just the boring way I write now', but after a few seconds I reckoned that yeah, maybe I have grown up.
This whole year, I've been painfully aware that it's my last. When I finish this year, I'm supposed to go out there and find an education. And as you've read now, you see that I have. There's no more fooling around, living off my parents. For the last half year, I've had a job, and a payment. That's odd. I mean, times are changing, and what I've had, I'm never gonna see again.
My adolescence has left me long ago, leaving me naked. And while strolling around obliviously, looking for something new, my adultery found me and hit me in the face.
I thought about it earlier today. My friends and I, we have thought about going to America, renting a cheap car and just fuck around for some weeks, eating fast food, living on cheap motels or in a tent. A road trip. Doesn't that sound cool? But I'm aware that's never gonna happen. From now on, it's gonna be "no, I can't afford it." "No, I don't have time, studies, y'know." "No, I'm gonna settle down and have kids now." And that scares me.
My biggest dream is to play in a band, tour the world and live a rockstar life, with drinking, partying, seeing new places, creating music as a living. That's the kind of life I see as ideal. That's not a 9-5 kids-and-husband life. Not at all. And I know that the latter is what's gonna happen to my friends. And I'm scared it's gonna happen to me.
I wanna lead a life I want. I don't wanna live just to work. Spend my days wasted in the same routine. That sounds horrible to me. But it's adultery, and it's scary.
You know what? It's not gonna happen to me. I'm gonna have this in the back of my head though it all, and I'm not gonna choose the easy paths, the convient ones that will lead me into a "real job." I'm gonna choose the path that I want, and I am willing to fight for it.
Right now, I feel invincible. I can be whatever I want to be, and I'm gonna do it. You're not finished with me yet, life!!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
21th January 2008 ;; 14:10
There's been a really long time since I've blogged, I see. It's funny, I use my domain so much by being active in the forum and updating that and such, but this, my site, is deserted. I got a feeling this haven't got much visitors at the time. Which is to be blamed on me, 'cause I can't see how I would expect anyone to visit this site on a regular basis when there's almost never anything new here to see.
My life goes on wildly though, even though I don't express it here. You who have friended my livejournal knows this, I'm sure. By the way, if you want the link to my journal or the forum, just ask and I'll make sure you get it. Send me your mail or something. 'Cause I don't feel comfortable with adding the links here, for anyone to see.
So where was I? Yes, my life goes on wildly. I'm really anxious at the moment, actually. I'm 18, and I'm graduating in a few months and I still haven't gotten around to decide what the hell I'm gonna do next year. The deadline to apply for schools is april the fifteenth, which is soon. And nothing tempts me. And I'm so sick of school that I don't even have good enough grades to get in anywhere. Seriously, you have to have sky high grades to get in on almost every public studies around. Especially in my hometown, which is a very popular town for students. I've dreamed for a long time about fleeding the country, but I've recently becomed aware of all the things I'll then be leaving behind. I will have to come home eventually, and then, my life won't be the same. This isn't nescessary a good thing.
You know what? The only thing I really wanna do is play in a band and tour around, but I haven't go the talent for anything here in this world. And people expects me to believe there's a God?
God be damned.
Slightly emo post, I know. I'm actually really fucking happy these days. Like :D:D happy. And anxious. Always so anxious.
If I were to describe myself with one word, I have found the perfect one;
AWKWARD.
Peace out.
WHITE WHITE BIATCH
21th January 2008 ;; 14:10
I had one class at school today. Yeah, one! Usually, I have two classes on Mondays. I start at 12.45, and have one hour of media and one hour of biology. And today, our dreadful excuse for a man of an biology teacher was sick. He's like, a few years older than us, so it's his first year of teaching, which is totally easy to see. He can't teach, simple as that. I really hope he doesn't see this. Anyway, he's way to strict when it comes to teaching and giving grades. And he thinks we're scary. Pah.
I LOL'ed hard when I saw my grades for this last semester. It's stupid, it's my last year of school like, ever. And still, I can't get myself into doing shit. I'm just so immensely tired of school. I have no idea what I want to become when I'm older, or what I'm gonna do after this summer. Which leaves me with a serious lack of motivation. I'll just have to work harder now, though, it's just so.. hard, exactly.
This saturday, I was at my friend's birthday party, with lots of people from my class and the other class from my school (allmenn påbygging) that I share some subjects with. It was so much fun! She had rented this community house where we were at first, before we went down to centrum to a night club. Part from that, it wasn't really an evenful weekend.
Oh, I forgot. I dyed my hair this friday. I have blonde hair, and I was supposed to bleach my dark roots. I did home-dyeing for the first time in years, and it went to shit, really. Everything except the roots became white-ish, and just put the roots in extra contrast. Nice much? I've actually gotten a lot of compliments on it though, so it can't be all that bad.
Now Imma say goodbye. From the B to the Y to the E <3
MIKEY WAY YOU MAKE MY DAY
17th January 2008 ;; 17:15
So, I've made this new layout. It's really similar to my last one featuring The Used, but I needed it to be this kind of layout, since I haven't been able to fix the comment thingy on cutenews. It'll look all weird if I had made another type of layout, trust me. I decided to use Mikey Way. Isn't he adorable? I'll tell you the story about my own Mikey, the reason I've begun to adore the younger Way so much.
There's this guy at school. He won't read this anyway, so I don't care. He looks so much like Mikey Way, it's insane! He's a first grader though, and I'm graduating. That means he's 16 and I'm 18. Which is pretty bad. But hey, I don't care. He's a real weirdo though, he's wearing glasses and black clothes (as the only guy at my school, every one else just likes hip hop and rap), walks weird and hangs just with a few of his weird friends. In other words, I though he'd be glad for having a girl smiling at him. That might give him some confidense, and he might notice me, as I bet there's not many girls smiling at him. But does he even see me when I try to smile at him? No he doesn't. Fucker.
Anyway, please leave a comment, and it'd warm my heart if you gave an input on my layout!
EDIT; does anyone have any knowledge about cutenews, and are willing to answer a few questions?
<3
12 Jan 2008 - 15 Jan 2008, (3)
Stine; 18 years old. 19 years on September the 30th 08. Norwegian. Vk2 allmenn. tiller high school. loves animals. happy og
timid. loves: friends. rock. punk. adobe. webdesign. lostprophets. MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE.
madina lake. enter shikari. grey's anathomy. juvenile mb.
more?
Drinks Water
Eats Nothing
Mood Tired
Hører på Orson
Surfing Juvenile MB
Chatting Offline
Wishes Mad guitar skills
Weather Snow, -1°C :/
Day/timeJanuary 21th 14.10
durlaithiel@hotmail.com